Strength...

Food fuels the body.
 Love and happiness fuel the mind.
Pain tries to drag us down.
I'm on a roller coaster.
Trying all the time to keep on a peak, or so it seems.

Woke early with an ache from thigh to toe. Turned over and swore to the bastard, to myself. Tried hard not to waken my lovely wife who puts up with so much of me. I held my ground and it subsided after a while. The bed was warm. I was tired. I can't let it win.

Fuel the body, fuel the mind, but it hurts and doesn't want to stop. It hurts.

Having love in my life helps

I have the love of my my wife, my daughters and family. Only my wife truly understands how I live with chronic pain, as I try to hide from the others. They see me immobile on occasions and know that Daddy isn't feeling well, they see me off work and know when I go to the hospital or the doctors when it gets bad or for a scan. I hope nothing I have is hereditary for I love them and wouldn't want them to go through this. My sister has also suffered with a "bad back" but seems to have recovered and is able to control the symptoms before they become a problem.

When she was bed bound, I didn't realize what she went through and what real pain feels like. There must be so many in the same situation that suffer. I hope they too have love in their life to help them through.

Chronic Pained: Having love in my life helps

Chronic Pained: Having love in my life helps: I have the love of my my wife, my daughters and family. Only my wife truly understands how I live with chronic pain, as I try to hide from...

Why does it hurt?

I have prolapsed disk. So do lots of others.

Talking about it is difficult. How do you describe pain?

It has been going on for so long I sound like a broken record. Who wants to hear about it?

The image came from Tumblr. Sorry if the owner is aggrieved, apologies.

Looking at the image somehow helps to explain it to myself.

Pain is so personal. How do I connect with other in the same boat?

So I started this blog. Even just writing about it helps to get it out.

Always when in a deep sleep

Waking with an ache I am sleeping on my right side. I turn over and the pain shifts to my foot then my knee. I am tired and want to sleep, but the sequence begins. My eyes are closed and sticky with sleep. The inevitable is that I will have to get up otherwise the pains with increase and I will suffer more. I swing my legs out of bed and force my eyes to open to find my slippers. My back aches. I hobble to lift my dressing down off the hook and the days begins.

Avoiding mirrors and clocks I start to get my body moving downstairs. It's just getting light so I know it must be after 4. I hope it is then I will have had 5 hours sleep. It could be worse I think to myself. I fill the kettle, boot up the PC, go into the garden and and stand on the patio. The day has begun. The cooling breeze is quite pleasant. Even when its raining it takes my mind off it. Diversion therapy I think to myself.

I go into the garage. It's my workshop. I find my tobacco and I roll a fag. I shouldn't smoke but somehow its my crutch to help me start the day. The pains have eased. I'm tired. Will this ever end?

Keep smiling regardless

Fun and laughter is an essential part of everyday life. Looking for it isn't difficult as we all enjoy it. Isn't amazing how a good laugh lifts the spirit and bonds friendship. I want to have laughter lines on my face when they lay me out.